Author Archives: Dog Pants

Friday Diary: Spiderbaby

I’ve taken a bit of a diversion from the norm for today’s diary title. It’s no more relevant to last night than any other night, but it’s a meme we roll out quite often that I’ve never mentioned. Mr Johnson has a penchant for Father Ted, and there’s a scene where he describes a spiderbaby. We’ve paraphrased a bit, but it boils down to something having the either the mind of a baby or the body of a spider. Or, as a few weeks ago, the body of a baby and the mind of a bastard. We encountered our own spiderbastard last night, but the theme is more of breaking from convention.

Half baby, half spider, about seven-eighths cute.

Half baby, half spider, about seven-eighths cute.

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Friday Diary: Hiding in plain… oh look, boobs!

Apparently Counterstrike: Global Offensive hit 100,000 concurrent users last night. We didn’t make up any of that number, but we were playing other games which were based on mods. Two of the most popular games in the world, in fact. Odd that major developers don’t feel the need to provide mod support given the chance of greatness. I had a lot of fun last night, and I drank a few beers, and as a result I can’t quite remember much in the way of themes and specific jokes.  Expect match reports and maybe rambling about other things.

Being distracted from the game

Boobs: distracting

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Friday Diary: Fight for the Octopus!

Welcome to the final Friday Diary of 2013. In this, its inaugural year, I have been surprised by how I’ve managed to keep regular updates and actually find something to talk about. It leads me to a few interesting observations about our 5punky habits, but more on that later. We also played games last night to varying effect.

He can't surrender because it takes too long to lay down his arms.

He can’t surrender because it takes too long to lay down his arms.

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Friday Diary: Groin Chomping

In order to avoid playing the same games over and over we jumped on the Friday Games forum thread early yesterday. There were some good suggestions: Unreal Tournament 3, Natural Selection 2, Battlefield 4 (Anery you kidder, that one’s still making me chuckle). So when I sat down to join in and jumped on Teamspeak to find eight people playing Dota 2 I wasn’t in the least bit surprised.

Om nom nom nom.

Om nom nom nom.

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Friday Diary: Grimmie’s Cock

Oh why do I always go for the rude titles? I remember stating that I had my diary title several times last night, but in the cold light of day only Grimmie’s cock stands out in my mind. This is the problem with my diary, I have a rather selective memory and so undoubtedly leave out hilarious moment, and also take a guess at how things happened and who said what. C’est la vie, just don’t believe everything I write.

It looks small because Grimmie has such big hands.

It looks small because Grimmie has such big hands.

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Friday Diary: Come Nova

We had a big turnout last night, managing nine and almost a full 5punker vs 5punker Dota 2 match. Alas it was not to be, and with so many cats to herd there were many games suggested but few played. Such is the plight of 5punkers in large numbers. Still, it was nice to have Pete return to us with recent convert Noodz.

I ain't being herded nowhere.

I ain’t being herded nowhere.

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Friday Diary: Oh God My Eyes

There was something of a theme last night, among the gaming and usual witty banter.* I think it started off with cosplay, after Anery joined us from the Insomnia LAN event, but quickly devolved into playing the image equivalent of Russian roulette. Clicking on images lined by 5punkers is generally unwise, but last night it was turned into a sport.

*read: puns and childish insults

The horror.

I still see the horror in my nightmares.

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Friday Diary: Milking the Elephant

That title sounds like a euphemism, but surprisingly it isn’t. Look it up on Youtube (probably best you don’t actually). Milking elephants was one of the subjects of discussion last night, and since I had a pad of paper handy I made a list of the other things we discussed. I can’t remember the context of half of it, but it makes for interesting reading this morning.

Looks more like Moet than milk to me.

Looks more like Moet than milk to me.

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Friday Diary: Purple Spandex

Last week I was away so I played no games nor wrote a diary. Thanks to Grimmie for taking up the mantle with a Saturdiary, lovely it was and long may it continue. Last night we did play some games though.  Do you think we played Dota 2? We might have, but an old favourite also made a re-emergence and was better than many of us remembered.

I need to start taking more screenshots. Although this is authentic 5punk uniform.

I need to start taking more screenshots. Although this is authentic 5punk uniform.

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Friday Diary: Where’s My Louis Vuitton?

Last night we had great plans. Plans which involved team shooters. But the first few of us who were on Teamspeak decided to have a game of Dota 2 while we waited. Five hours later we stopped playing Dota 2. Sorry. We did get eight of us playing though, at least briefly, which was good. Unfortunately it means I have nothing other than Dota 2 to write about today.

Mr Johnson, last night.

Mr Johnson, last night.

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