Author Archives: Dog Pants

Friday Diary: Chicken Bomb

The monkey theme has evolved into chickens. I’m developing theories as to who is pushing which agenda, and am starting to pinpoint the main simian / galline antagonists. To think, once it was only horses. Now it’s all-out creature conflict.

The monkey-chicken war escalates

The first casualty is innocence (and 12 million people)

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Friday Diary: Monkakke

We continue the simian theme this week, a logical extension of the monkeys in makeup thing. I’m pretty sure they’re not related, and yet it’s a subject we keep coming back to. Someone is perhaps harbouring a desire they’re not telling us about. 

Hello boys.

Hello boys.

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Friday Diary: Shave That Monkey

We had an unusually chatty night last night. Not quite sure why, but it made for some strange conversation. Shaven monkeys feature heavily by way of a tenuous link taken well beyond any reasonable association. And why not, because it’s funny. 

Not bad for a Manchester girl.

Not bad for a Manchester girl.

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Friday Diary: Hitler’s Eyebrow

Okay, so maybe I won’t be writing a diary every week. Since the return we’ve had a Grim Bash (Grimmie, where’s the post on that, eh?) and a weekend where we just weren’t funny. I know, it’s difficult to believe. Last night we were back on form though, and I have a cryptic set of notes to prove it. All I have to do is translate them. 

Are my eyebrows straight?

Did I draw my eyebrows straight?

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Friday Diary: The Return

For a while the Friday Diary was a staple of the 5punk front page, delighting us with tales of our hilarious Friday gaming sessions. Then two-and-a-half years ago, for reasons of procreation, they had to be suspended. But no more! I am once more in a position where I can ignore my children in order to make people on the internet laugh. 

Go grab some ice cream or something.

Laughter not guaranteed.

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Not Bash III: Not again

This weekend saw the annual return of Anery’s Not Bash, a long weekend of beer, board games, and bacon. As usual it was a small affair, with Anery, Pnut and me for the most part, but that was more than enough to keep us entertained.

*No tables were flipped in the making of this Not Bash

*No tables were flipped in the making of this Not Bash

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Happy 10th Birthday 5punk – Community

On Friday 5punk.co.uk was ten years old, and this weekend I’ve been writing about peoples’ memories of them. While I’ve been doing that I’ve found that much of what I’ve been writing tends to segue off towards our in-jokes and collective sense of humour. It should have come as no surprise really, since games are merely the catalyst which brings us together. The heart of 5punk is in its members, its community, be that in thee games, on the forums, on Teamspeak, or in person.

Actual 5punkers, the handsome devils

Actual 5punkers, the handsome devils

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Happy 10th Birthday 5punk – Shooters

Yesterday 5punk.co.uk was ten years old and I wrote about some of the games we’ve played and peoples’ memories of them. In celebration we played some games last night – lots of us did, maybe twenty at one point. In order to get all those people together we had to find games we all had, and it comes as no surprise that those games were all first person sh0oters. Maybe it’s because they’re easy to pick up because they’re mechanically similar, maybe it’s because they’re convenient to drop in and out of with any number of players. Either way, shooters are so popular among 5punkers that today they get their own article.

Once we had our own servers.

Once we had our own servers.

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Happy 10th Birthday 5punk – Gaming

Today 5punk.co.uk is ten years old. What began as a function for likeminded people to organise gaming sessions has, in those years, become a very close community in its own right. Many members, many games, have been and gone through the forums. Even the forum has died and been reborn. But the constant which makes 5punk the place it is remains true. The members, whoever they may be, their puerile but good natured sense of humour, love of gaming, and penchant for bumming horses.

5punk.co.uk, 2005

5punk.co.uk, 2005

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Not Bash 2014

For the last few years Anery has run a not bash. Which is to say it isn’t a bash, but a few of us get together to have drinks, play some board games, and wag some chins. Only three 5punkers made it this year, Anery, Pnut and I, but there isn’t the room for more than four or five anyway and Anery’s better half stepped up for some of the games. For those who weren’t there but were interested in the games we played or the rubbish we talked, read on.

Consumables for the weekend.

Consumables for the weekend.

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